'The Great British Baking Show's “Chocolate Week” Needs More Chocolate

The Great British Baking Show's sixteenth season is halfway through the "mushy middle" rounds that fall between Bread Week and the Quarterfinals, and the good news is that the series has yet to go off the rails. The last few seasons haven't just had poor finales; they've also been marred by confusing eliminations of contestants who seemed to have done perfectly fine, in favor of keeping lesser talents in an attempt to force Paul Hollywood's preferred final three to succeed by default. However, we're already a month into this year's run of episodes, and the contestant leaving the tent every week has been the correct choice.

Not that viewers can relax, we know that whenever he starts pushing, Prue Leith will always give in. While Alison Hammond and Noel Fielding have done much as a team to provide a counterweight to Paul's ridiculous male posturing, they aren't able to sway the vote.

The good news for Americans is that, if this season starts to go south, The Great American Baking Show (which also stars Paul and Prue as judges) has just released a new Celebrity edition geared towards Spooky Season over on Roku. Even better, the American celebrity contestants have even less time for Paul's nonsense than Sandi Toksvig did during her run as host. So if we get mad at Paul in the next few weeks, at least there's an alternate version to watch where everyone treats Paul exactly as he deserves.

This year's Chocolate Week opens with a Signature Challenge featuring half a dozen Chocolate Mousse Cups, which Alison informs us is also her Burlesque dancer stage name. (Alison 4eva.) The cups should be chocolate-flavored, the mousse can be any flavor the contestants want (as long as it's chocolate-related), and there must be some sort of baked element within the dessert.

Thankfully, the contestants do get one uncontrollable variable that breaks their way: the weather. Since the pandemic, when the show was taped at the height of summer, Chocolate Week has seemingly fallen on the warmest weekend possible, even in recent years when filming resumed in spring. One season, it turned out to be the hottest day of the entire year when they filmed the Chocolate Showstopper Challenge. 

Now, of course, it could always rain on Day Two (humidity is actually worse than heat in some ways for chocolate work). Still, at least this season, for the Signature and Technical challenges, the bakers aren't being penalized for the long-abandoned idea that The Great British Baking Show should move from town to town every week (which is why the series is held outdoors in a tent).

Let's see whose mousses past muster and which mousses are useless. As always, the Signature is judged on a pass/fail metric.

1. Toby ‘Chocolate Orange Cups’ (Pass): His cups resemble clay pots, and his gel topper isn't exactly appetizing to look at, but Paul declares the flavor perfect.
2. Jasmine ‘Chocolate Praline Cups’ (Pass): She went traditional with plain chocolate half-shell cups filled with chocolate mousse. Prue is delighted.
3. Nataliia ‘Granny’s Garden Cups’ (Pass): She made mugs out of chocolate with fruit compote and mousse, which resemble a cup of hot cocoa. Prue is tickled.
4. Iain ‘Kriek Craic Cups’ (Pass): He didn't get his whipped cream topping on, but it doesn't matter, because Paul loves the medieval goblets, and Prue says it's still delicious.
5. Lesley ‘Tiramisu Cups’ (Fail): Her little edible chocolate spoons! Sadly, she was so focused on the decor that she barely made any mousse, which was the point of the exercise.
6. Nadia ‘Summer Strawberry Delight’ (Fail): Her mousse and biscuit are both way too soft, and her cups look messy. (Also, white chocolate is not chocolate.)
7. Aaron ‘Caramel Tiramoussiato’ (Pass): The coffee cups with the removable edible to-go lids are delightful enough, but he also made croissant sides.
8. Tom ‘Tiramousoooo’ (HANDSHAKE): His coffee shop cups also have lids, but four of them are in a pile next to the cups, so the latte art is visible. The other two are in a chocolate cup carrier, and there's a pile of biscotti on the side. All that, and the flavors are perfect. Paul sticks out his hand.

It took five weeks* for Paul to give out a Handshake this season, but Tom absolutely earned it. 

(*I'm not complaining! I think the handshake worked far better when he was the lesser judge next to Mary Berry; it's much less effective now he's the Top Dog, and it should be reserved for truly exquisite work.)

It's Technical Challenge Time, and Paul set this one. It's not a Taste and Bake, but there is a twist to it of some sort, as not only do the bakers have ingredients at their stations covered in gingham cloth, but there's also a whole lot of something already on the altar, covered in a much bigger cloth, which isn't uncovered until the judges exit the tent. Paul's final words: "Choose wisely." Oh dear.

So, remember when I said white chocolate isn't chocolate? (It's not. It's what's left over after you remove all the cocoa from the chocolate. It is not-chocolate, the opposite of chocolate, if you will.) Apparently, Paul didn't receive the memo, as the challenge is to make White Chocolate Tarts. The tarts are to have shortbread pastry crusts and be filled with white chocolate ganache. As for the twist, let's just go with Alison and Noel's explanation: "Behold! The Gingham Pantry!"

The Great British Baking Show has figured out how to co-opt the Haberdashery from The Great British Sewing Bee, with a table laden with ingredients to use as part of their tart. The bakers are told they have "artistic license" and are given five minutes to look over their options and, well... choose wisely.

Let's see who managed to tart up their not-chocolate tarts properly, and who will tartly be told they failed. Please note that each baker wrote a card with the ingredients they used from the pantry, so this isn't totally judged blind, since the judges can get a sense of who it is from the handwriting.

8. Nadia (Blackberry & Raspberry Jam Tart): The pastry is too thick and underbaked, and there's no white chocolate to be seen.
7. Iain (Raspberry & White Chocolate Tart): His crust collapsed because it was underbaked; the whole thing's a mess.
6. Nataliia (Pistachio Lemon Cream Cheese Tart): It's delicious, but not set, and her crust is too thick.
5. Toby (Passion Fruit  & Lime Tart): His tart is totally not set, and his crust is rubbery.
4. Tom (Blackberry & Basil Cream Tart): Finally, a tart that's set and has a correct crust. Too bad it tastes like basil.
3. Aaron (Thyme Infused White Ganache Tart): It's the best baked of the batch, but the tart crust is only half full.
2. Jasmine (Raspberry Cream Hazelnut Crunch): Jasmine put real chocolate as her tart topper, which makes it a chocolate tart.
1. Lesley (Lemon Thyme Curd Tart): It's basically a key lime pie, and delicious, if not fully set.

The judges ultimately decide to rank by flavor profile, since nearly no one managed to bake their tart correctly. (Otherwise, this would be six fails, plus Aaron and Tom.) This was a good idea for a twist, but it needs some tweaking if the show decides to bring it back again, because tossing ingredients at the bakers with no parameters and no time to think clearly did not produce the results they were hoping for.

What did I tell you?! Day Two arrives, and it's pouring buckets outside. Sorry bakers. British weather is going to British weather, and we must weather the weather, whatever the weather, whether we like it or not. At least the Showstopper Challenge will bring the heat, with an edible table centerpiece centered around that 1970s classic, the fondue pot. These Chocolate Fondue Displays must be entirely edible, even the fondue pot. (I'm not really fond of that, sorry Alison.) There needs to be at least one baked element, and the display should hold together thematically.

Prue amends the rules, noting the judges are looking for at least two different elements to dip into the fondue, which one assumes will cover the baked element. But not so! Paul says the baked element needs to be a "major component," which means he's looking for a cake-based structure that will comprise the main display.

Let's see who bakes the cakes and who is swept away by the chocolate tides.

Nataliia’s ‘Last Day of Pompeii’: Her volcano fondue river of lava is brilliant, and her decor of little Greek columns and olive trees being toppled and burnt is incredible. Additionally, her chocolate cake is divine, as are her choux pastries, perfect for dipping. 

Tom’s ‘Ocean Scene’: His octopus, which is hidden inside the fondue pot, is really well done, far better than his lighthouse, which at least looks more distressed than “unfinished.” Unfortunately, his dipping bakes are all cream-filled, so you don’t taste the fondue.

Lesley’s ‘Death by Chocolate Fondue’: Lesley is not an engineer, and it shows, as her entire rube goldberg machine collapses under the weight of the chocolate sauce. It’s a shame, because her dipper bakes are delicious, though her cake base is dry.

Aaron’s ‘Pianola Grande’: His piano-shaped fondue pot is genuinely an incredible work of art, and his dipping bakes are near perfect. The choice to play the piano version of the GBBO theme over the top of the scene to the point that you kinda can't hear Paul's praise is hilarious.

Iain’s ‘Glenariff Park’: Iain's landscape looks like something out of a fantasy film. (Paul compares it to Lord of the Rings.) However, his engineering holds up, the ganache flows well, and the dipper bakes are actually pieces of the landscape, making this a genuine showstopper.

Jasmine’s ‘Chocolate Tree’: Jasmine went surprisingly traditional; her “tree” is just an edible fondue fountain. However, it is well-made and sturdy, holding up to the chocolate pouring over the sides, and her dipping bakes are great. Prue loves it, and Paul gives her the very rare Showstopper Handshake.

Nadia’s ‘Ladies Day’: Nothing went right for her today. Her tempered chocolate high heel broke as it came out of the mold; her chocolate base shoebox is falling apart. Once again, every bake has something wrong with it, even though her fondue is spot on.

Toby’s ‘Campsite Delight’: Aww, bless him, he made an actual pot out of chocolate for his fondue. Prue is very impressed by how thin the chocolate is, yet still sturdy enough to hold the fondue. However, all of his dipping bakes are bad, and his cake is a disaster.

Toby's surprising failure won't be enough to send him home, even though he admits that this week made him feel out of his depth. There's really no surprise that Nadia's time is up; she has lagged behind the others since the beginning, and it was just a matter of the rest of the chaff failing away before it was her turn.

However, the line for Star Baker is crowded. Tom received the Signature Handshake, while Jasmine received the Showstopper Handshake. However, she flopped at the Technical pretty hard, and his Showstopper was mid. In the end, the Handshakes cancel each other out, and Star Baker is awarded to Aaron, who was the only one to nail all three challenges.

The Great British Baking Show Season 16 continues with new episodes every Tuesday on Channel 4 and Fridays on Netflix. Seasons 1 through 7 are available on Roku, while Seasons 8 through 15 (still incorrectly listed as “Collections 5 through 12”) are accessible on Netflix outside the U.K.