The Biscuits Are Underbaked in 'The Great British Baking Show' Season 16

Biscuit week opens with no skit welcoming us to The Great British Baking Show, just a drone flyover of the small river that runs through Welford Park in Berkshire. I think this is the first time the show has used drones for casual filming shots, and for TV geeks like me, that's enough of a cool opening. There have also been episodes (especially since Season 13) where there was no opening sketch. But I have a feeling that many American viewers are going to ask if Netflix cut something for being "too British." (This has happened before, such as when GBBO did an opening in which former host Matt Lucas made fun of then-PM Boris Johnson.)

But no, instead, we dive right into this week's challenges, all of which are about cookies, errr biscuits. In fairness, British biscuits tend to be much crunchier than American cookies, which is why the second week of Baking Show sometimes feels like an exercise in watching people bake things that seem more akin to a cookie's first cousin. (Those weird soft Chewy Chips Ahoy can stay right over here with us, thanks very much.) I am also pretty sure that's partly why neither PBS nor Netflix has ever pushed to Americanize the challenge for the U.S. broadcast. 

(Listen, the hosts literally have to tape everything twice anyway, once saying "The Great British Bake Off" and once saying "The Great British Baking Show" because Pillsbury are jerkfaces. It would not take much also to have everyone say "Cookie Week" on Episode 2's second pass.)

Anyway, since there's no skit, let's get right to the tent and this season's Biscuit Signature Challenge.

This week, the Signature Challenge is one we actually haven't seen before: The "Slice and Bake Biscuit." Most Americans are familiar with these due to the aforementioned Pillsbury company, which sells refrigerated tubes of premade cookie dough with a label that claims the ingredients are safe to eat raw if you don't feel like waiting for the oven to heat up. The challenge will see the bakers create their own oblong log of dough, but with a twist. When you slice the log into rounds for baking, it must have a surprise design on the inside.

Prue further refines the challenge that the judges are not looking for something relatively easy, like a checkerboard pattern or a pretty fractal design. They want an actual, identifiable picture to appear on every cookie slice and have that image bake up in such a way that the picture comes out clearly on the finished products. This is harder than it sounds. (I know several people who make polymer clay jewelry, and this is the exact process they use. Well, save for its being edible.) 

Let's see which of our bakers cut the mustard and which ones can't quite get the picture.

1. Nadia: ‘Amma’s Avos’ (Fail): Her idea of making avocado-shaped biscuits was brilliant; a super-easy design that totally fulfills the brief, and she even made them matcha and chocolate flavored. Sadly, they’re underbaked.
2. Toby: ‘Bex’s Breakfast’ (Fail): This is more what the judges meant for people to do; every cookie has a cat’s face on it... err, it’s actually supposed to be a dog, but whatever. They taste awful.
3. Iain: ‘Mince Pie Cat-astrophe’ (Pass): Toby’s dogs made better cats than Iain’s do, but his flavors are good enough to cover.
4. Jasmine: ‘Sail Around the World’ (Pass): Another savvy, easy colorblock style design that creates a simple but effective sailboat. It’s also the first biscuit that is both impressive-looking and tasty.
5. Tom: ‘Hagia Sophia’ (Pass): Another clever colorblock design, though more ambitious since the result is a recognizable landmark. Paul is impressed despite himself, and has to dig deep to find a complaint.
6. Leighton: ‘Orange Slices of Delight’ (Pass): More like Dehydrated Orange Slices of Death, but hey, Tomato/Tomahto. The judges like them anyway.
7. Nataliia: ‘Yorkshire Welcome’ (Fail): The rose image is lopsided, and the cookie is underbaked.
8. Pui Man: ‘Year of the Ox’ (Fail): I totally thought these were jack o’lanterns, can’t lie. Paul asks if they are Pokémon. Either way, they have too much ginger.
9. Jessika: ‘Egg-cellent Brunch’ (Pass): These little toast slices with egg and bacon are darling, and the flavors are spot on. Slightly underbaked, but Prue notes that’s a consistent issue this morning.
10. Lesley: ‘Cupcakes’ (Fail): It’s like she took a Santa cookie and changed the colors; Paul thinks they look more like soft serve ice cream, and says there’s too much filling.
11. Aaron: ‘Mini Winnies’ (Pass): The most ambitious design of them all gets approval by Paul, until Alison points out that the chocolate filling that didn’t set is just the baby’s bum. “Enjoy your biscuit,” indeed.

Aaron also has the extra “Noel” cookie he made, which Alison has him pull out after his judging. Prue takes it to give to the host to eat. For the record, this is not the first time the Biscuit Signature has experienced a high number of failures. Like the infamous Brownie debacle, bakers tend to mistake Biscuit Week for an easier one to get through. However, this is the first time we’ve seen an entire tent misjudge their ovens quite to this extent.

This week's Technical Challenge is not a Taste-and-Bake. Although I am not surprised that the new format twist isn't a permanent feature, it's notable that Prue set this week's test. It remains to be seen if the Taste-and-Bake scenario returns when it switches back to Paul next week, but I have a sneaking suspicion it might. 

The Biscuit Technical is to make Chocolate Hobnobs. Americans have probably never heard of these, but it's a little like being asked to create a Hostess brand iced cookie from scratch. Hobnobs are traditionally oatmeal-based (though no raisins or chocolate chips), and typically have a caramel layer on top, which is then enrobed in hardening chocolate. You're supposed to dunk them in tea to make them soft and chewable. Though there's no number of hobnobs given, the requirement is to have two different feathered chocolate designs on the outer layer, so that requires an even multiple.

Prue's last advice to the bakers before exiting the tent is to use their temperature probes. Alison's final advice is not to think too hard about the double entendre contained within Noel's calling these "Prue's Delicious Dunkers." Let's see which cookies' featherings take flight and which are dunking six feet down.

11. Pui Man: A complete disaster, she doesn't even have an even number of cookies.
10. Leighton: Paul says the feathering was done via machete, and the whole cookie is too thick.
9. Lesley: Paul spits it out. Overbaked to the point of being inedible.
8. Aaron: The feathering is a disaster, and there's way too much caramel, but it is correctly baked.
7. Jessika: Her feathering isn't even, and there's still too much caramel, but she did properly bake it.
6. Tom: Non-uniform shapes and far too much caramel, but also correctly baked. 
5. Iain: Feathering is heavy-handed, but he's the first to get the right caramel to cookie ratio.
4. Jasmine: These also have the correct ratio of chocolate:caramel:cookie, but it's underbaked.
3. Nataliia: Nice and neat, but the chocolate is thicker than desired.
2. Nadia: Feathering is a bit clumsy, but the thin, delicate texture is spot on.
1. Toby: The only one to get his feathering correct, the proper ratio, and the only set that is truly uniform. Prue says they look machine-made.

Hooboy, Pui Man really isn't long for this competition, is she? I'm curious if she'll slide again, given the production's fondness for her personality, which makes for good TV. If so, that means Leighton and Lesley are looking at the Showstopper as their last chance to avoid elimination. (Considering Leighton was close to the bottom last week as well, he's probably the one in the most danger.)

The Showstopper Challenge for Season 16's Biscuit Week is a variation on a Showstopper we've seen multiple times before: Cookies inside a highly decorated edible container. Season 6 was literally "cookies inside a cookie box." Season 15 did the same sort of variation on the theme, though the "box" was shaped like a theater. This time, the "box" is a time capsule, and the cookies inside (a minimum of five) are to be decorated as items they would put inside a time capsule to be buried and dug up in 3025. (Noel says it's fine, the show will still be on the air, and Holograms of Paul and Prue will judge how the biscuits held up.) With an "on your mark, get set, bake" that has a Back to the Future reference, the bakers are off to make their cookies and their cookie containers.

The idea of time as a theme means Noel and Alsion get to make the most of their time calls throughout the four hours the bakers have to make their creations. It also adds a sense of irony to those who struggle with time management. Added bonus problem: Climate Change means it is far hotter in the tent than one would expect for an April weekend, and both cookies and bakers find themselves on the edge of melting down. Let's see which of our bakers have the time and which ones have had their time run out.

Jessika’s' Trails and Tales’: The outside box is beautifully decorated with sugar “stained glass”, and inside there’s a super clever puppet of herself as a GBBO contestant. The judges are super impressed, even if the puppet falls apart after one too many pulls by Paul.

Iain’s ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’: The outside container is an old school record player, the kind that comes in a box, which means it’s very plain save for a few silver knobs. Paul notes that, but as the turntable spins and the cookies inside are well-made, he lets it go.

Lesley’s ‘Happy Memories’: The outside design on this box alone is enough to save her from elimination this week; the fact that it also tastes good is the cherry on top. She only made two kinds of cookies, Gingerbread and Viennese, but that meant she had time to make everything look good.

Leighton’s ‘Piano Memories’: Unlike Lesley, this childlike, awkward piano box is doing Leighton zero favors. The top is legit cracked, and for the third time this week, he’s underbaked everything again. The cookies inside do not even begin to resemble what he claims they are. (The “protractor” resembles a headboard, the Blue Peter badge resembles the Blue Cross/Blue Shield logo, etc.)

Jasmine’s ‘Our Favourite Scottish Summers’: Bless Jasmine, she basically ignored the whole “time capsule” bit and just made a basket full of picnic items and called it a memory. The judges are delighted anyway, even if the basket handles break off instantly.

Nataliia’s ‘A Slice of Life’: Her concept was a cake slice where the back was a pullout drawer full of memories. However, her cake slice never hardened up properly, and the top is totally collapsing in on itself as she walks it up to the judges. However, her macarons are perfect, and the judges agree this is a case of setting the bar too high. 

Nadia’s ‘Picnic Basket’: Nadia also went the picnic basket route, though hers is closer to being a time capsule with cookies representing her cat and cassette tapes inside. Her macarons are perfect, and her box is super tasty. Prue dismisses her with a “Good job.”

Toby’s ‘Treasure Chest’: Now this is precisely the sort of thing the judges wanted. The treasure chest looks excellent, and the cookies inside are decorated cleanly. However, the taste is a problem, since Toby twice baked his box for it to hold up Paul says it tastes terrible, Toby says, “Thank you.”

Aaron’s ‘Sugar in Spring’: It’s beautiful, and the tree on top is lovely, but it’s clearly unfinished, with the bridge that was supposed to adorn it literally lying in a pile of pieces next to the box. The cookies inside the box are barely decorated, and the scrolls... well, let’s just say they resemble a part of the male anatomy that PBS would not have allowed. His cookies are a bit tough, but the flavor is enough that Prue decides he’ll pass.

Pui Man’s ‘Jumbo Boat Restaurant’: Now this is why Pui Man is not going anywhere. She’s not good at time management, she can’t pass a Technical to save her life, but this is the best-looking Showstopper of the entire group; ambitious without actually being super difficult. The same goes for her cookies; the picture frame is intricately detailed, but the picture inside of Mum and Dad (still in Hong Kong) is heartstring-tugging. And everything is perfectly baked.

Tom’s ‘Granny’s Cottage’: Like Pui Man’s, this one belongs in a shop window. I wouldn’t be fooled by a photograph of it or anything; that’s a bit of a stretch, but it looks as good as it tastes, and that’s money. The cookies inside are also perfectly baked and beautifully decorated. 

It comes down to Tom and Jasmine, who both really rocked their Showstoppers and had decent enough results the day before, but Tom’s sixth-place finish in the Technical was just enough to eke out Star Baker this week. Of course, the camera focuses in on Pui Man when it’s time for eliminations, and we know she saved herself, so it’s obviously the other person the camera focuses on... Leighton. Sorry to our tallest Baker this season, but the tent only cares about how tall your bakes rise. Next week, we’ll find out who can survive the dreaded bread week.

The Great British Baking Show Season 16 continues with new episodes every Tuesday on Channel 4 and Fridays on Netflix. Seasons 1 through 7 are available on Roku, while Seasons 8 through 15 (still incorrectly listed as “Collections 5 through 12”) are accessible on Netflix outside the U.K.