Hulu’s 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' Asked & Answered

Even after some research and watching the trailer, it wasn’t clear what to expect from the BBC’s Am I Being Unreasonable?, which Hulu picked up the rights to in early 2023. Was it a comedy? A thriller? In a word, yes. The marketing hinted at essences of Single White Female and Thelma & Louise, with just a soupçon of Absolutely Fabulous, but its closest relative seems to be the first season of Fleabag. Am I Being Unreasonable? has a difficult and sometimes unlikeable main character who is nonetheless ultimately lovable. 

Written and created by the two lead actresses, Daisy May Cooper (who also plays the main character, Nic) and Selin Hizli (Nic’s new friend, Jen), the show explores female friendship, trauma, marital boredom, guilt, and lies. The show’s title is a reference to the British Mumsnet message board of the same name, which is, in turn, a version of the American Reddit thread “Am I the A**hole?” – and that does seem to be the central question of the series. Is Nic an arse? She leaves the audience skating a thin line between amusement and antipathy. 

Nic is a mediocre mother at best, selfish, lazy, and sometimes hurtful in her uglier moments. She’s uninspired by her marriage to Dan (Dustin Demri-Burns), unfulfilled, and feeling trapped. However, for all that, she's not exactly motivated to change her circumstances. Despite all this, Cooper makes the character sympathetic, reminding us that Nic is funny, bold, and entertaining by turns. This is Cooper's third major comedy in as many years, starting with This Country (currently unavailable stateside), which became a pandemic lockdown hit, and following it up with the recent Rain Dogs, which is streaming in the U.S. on HBO Max. Cooper’s performance in AIBU is another winner, and it's what keeps us invested.

The opening scene sets us firmly in thriller territory with the tragic and shocking death of Nic’s bit-on-the-side lover, Alex (David Fynn), with who she's been distracting herself. The show then smash cuts to an upbeat, comedic scene: Nic on the couch watching trashy telly with her nine-year-old son Ollie (Lenny Rush) — which aims to (and succeeds) at the current fad of in media res openings with confusing transitions.

People who have experienced unexpected loss may be triggered by this show, as Nic is clearly in the thrall of her trauma, haunted by a loss she cannot talk about or even admit a connection to. She has frequent flashbacks of Alex’s death, and her emotional disconnect from her daily life is a running subtext. It is clear as the season goes on that Nic has some form of PTSD – which explains but doesn’t excuse her sometimes asinine behavior.

Nic’s need for connection in the wake of her loss leads her to form a fast friendship with Jen, another mother at Ollie’s school. In contrast to Nic, Jen is instantly likable, and Hizli’s portrayal shows us a woman who seems genuinely sweet and caring -- at least when she's around Nic. However, the two are even more alike than they might think, as both are harboring secrets.

We are led to be suspicious of Jen early on when she furtively films Nic’s confession during a girls’ night of binge drinking. Nic tells her new friend she’d been having an affair with Alex, and he was basically the love of her life. (SPOILER: Alex was her husband’s brother.) Looming large through the series is a memorial honoring Alex on what appears to be the first anniversary of his death. Nic is slowly unraveling as the memorial gets closer and her unresolved grief and guilt manifest.

A misunderstanding over a coat leads to an out-of-control Nic breaking ties with Jen, only to unexpectedly discover Jen may not be who she says she is. In the fourth episode, we are treated to a perspective shift when Jen is suddenly our narrator. Getting her story from her point of view is enlightening and turns many a scene from the first three episodes on its head.

Despite the plot reading a bit like an over-the-top soap opera, AIBU succeeds because it’s so invested in making you care about the characters and their lives. Every new revelation teases even more below the surface. It’s also, quite appropriately, full of Reddit theory fodder, making one wish it were being released week-to-week in the U.S. rather than a single binge drop. From the mystery of the boy and girl that Nic keeps hallucinating, Jen’s identity, and the very important question of the missing family cat, Mr. Meowgi, there is plenty to keep the audience's attention from week to week. 

Truth be told, the first five episodes are fascinating, if frustrating, but the finale is the real reason to watch. The devastating payoff is absolutely worth the sometimes uncomfortable lead-up. Cooper and Hizli succeed on screen because of great chemistry, which you can feel in their writing as well as acting. Lenny Rush, as the understated yet scene-stealing Ollie, is a gem. Cooper and Rush have a weird but sweet mother-son dynamic, which suits the tone that threads this world.

Nic is an anti-hero, and, yes, in American terms, she is 100% the arse in this story. However, the banality of her life is relatable, as is her desire for change while feeling paralyzed and helpless to do anything. Although the viewers may not find themselves in these exact situations – and would likely make better life choices than Nic – the character is well-drawn and sympathetic. Her pain and anger are understandable. The friendship between Nic and Jen feels legitimate and earned. I am eagerly awaiting the rumored second season.  

All episodes of Am I Being Unreasonable? stream on Hulu starting Tuesday, April 11, 2023.