'The Serpent Queen' Spends Some "Time With the Family"

The Serpent Queen’s fifth episode, “Time With the Family,” marks Season 2’s halfway point. We’ve seen the creation of complicated alliances, quarrels, and crises, but Catherine seems somehow above it. She is the Queen Mother, respected if not liked, the line of succession is safe, and she’s considering matches of political significance for her children. Confident that civil war can be avoided, her legacy will be peace, culture, and a unified France. Wait, what? Has Catherine lost her edge, or are we being duped? Remember: Trust No One. 

Catherine: You are quite right. I must admit my guilt. In my overzealousness to protect my children, I overstepped, and I only hope you believe me when I say my intentions were good. However, considering my misjudgment, it is in the best interests of the council that I resign my post immediately.

Catherine’s half-brother Alessandro takes her to the site of her new palace, Tuileries. As Rahima keeps an eye on him, he tells Catherine about his next project, which needs investors, and that he is heading to the New World; he won’t return to Florence, where his illegitimate status is held against him. Catherine takes the hint, but her first job is to unite France. Besides, a second miracle, surviving poison, took place, enhancing the reputation of renegade Protestant preacher Edith and attracting the interest of foreign powers. On the other side of the Channel, Queen Elizabeth I cheerfully beheads a boiled egg, telling her minister Throckmorton she fancies a little trip to Europe.

Catherine’s daughter Margot is reading in the palace garden, probably waiting for Francois de Guise, until her brother Charles shows up with Cici of Austria (Lilea le Borgne), the niece of the Holy Roman Emperor. Cici loves books, and suggests she and Margot read together. Margot declines, claiming reading is a solitary pursuit. Cici doesn’t need Margot; she’s only interested in her big brother, the King. When Margot comments on their mutual attraction, Charles is embarrassed and annoyed, proving he does like her.

As they leave the garden, Catherine and Alessandro return from their visit to the construction site. Introductions are made and polite, other than Charles thought his mother was an only child. However, things go pear-shaped when Montmorency arrives, furious, calling Catherine a fool to challenge Edith. Alessandro reprimands him, and Montmorency tells him to go away in the strongest terms. Charles is confused, as he so often is, until Montmorency explains Catherine arranged a (failed) political assassination without the authority of the Council. Civil war is inevitable, and it’s all her fault. He stomps off.

Catherine expresses mild surprise and turns to the camera, all wide-eyed innocence. She didn’t expect this. But she doesn’t seem too upset, although she later visits Ruggieri for advice on how she can protect her remaining children. He suggests she takes steps to protect herself from them – set them against each other, just as she has done with the Bourbons and Guises.

Philip argued with the wrong end of a horse at the end of last week and was severely injured. When Princess Elisabeth visits, the Emperor tells her his son wasn’t always a total psycho. For instance, Philip loved his pet dog as a child, but when the Emperor teased him about it, he threw the animal out of a window. As he spoons soup into his son’s mouth, he asks Elisabeth to visit again. Catherine arrives as Elisabeth exits with more bad news – the failure of the assassination attempt. God really is on Edith’s side; it’s such a disappointment. The Emperor fears that the English will see an opportunity on the continent. But Catherine isn’t worried, with the trade deal settled. The Emperor disagrees. 

Catherine heads to visit the Bourbons, who have just been told by Antoine’s wife, Jeanne, that they are idiots; she will not let her son, Henri, be involved in their plots. Catherine welcomes Louis home, asking about the trade deal; he assures her all is well. What a relief that it’s all settled with commerce, not conflict! Catherine and Rahima leave, sighing that the Bourbons are lying through their teeth. Rahima finds the Bourbons’ servant Tancrede (James Gerard) in the kitchen enjoying a snack and offers him money for information on the trip to England. After complaining about the food and weather, he gives her all the dirt on the Bourbons’ activities.

As for the Guise Bros, Francois finds his brother Charles praying fervently. He’s unimpressed; he’s always been amused that his worldly brother entered the Church. But Charles is going through a spiritual crisis, demanding to know what happened when the Church burned. Francois has no explanation for why Edith’s congregation survived or how she survived the poison. Charles takes it as divine grace — God is behind everything. Francois is alarmed, but more so because their mother will find out.

At the next Council meeting, Catherine announces Elizabeth I is taking a hostile position, suggesting King Charles stop English ships from landing in France. The Bourbons bluster that’s unnecessary; Charles agrees. Prompted by a nod from Montmorency, he declares a more pressing issue: his mother’s trustworthiness. Charles is upset that his mother undermined his authority. He has a witness, Angelica, who admits she gave poison to Aabis for Edith: “I speak only the truth.” Her eyes meet Catherine’s very briefly; Angelica confirms it was on Catherine’s orders. 

(I don’t believe Aabis survived. But who knows, really.)

Catherine is shocked — shocked! — but a glance confirms things are going as planned. She surprises them by resigning, declaring it time for Charles to take responsibility. However, she wants to heal the rift between her sons, and, by a stroke of luck, there’s a letter from Lemur confessing to Hercule’s murder. Charles accepts but wants to see the letter, so Catherine goes to Anjou. She demands an apology for killing his brother and drowning innocent Protestants. His King needs him; war is imminent. Catherine wants Anjou to dilute Montmorency’s influence, so he will join the Privy Council after signing Lemur’s confession. As he signs, he protests Lemur is his best friend. Lemur is executed.

The Bourbons visit Edith’s now-guarded encampment. Jeannette gushes like a fangirl as the Bourbon Bros offers support against the monarchy. They have a silent partner, too, Elizabeth I! Not that silent apparently: Elizabeth I has landed in Flanders with weapons to support the Protestant Prince of Orange. Edith wants armaments and supplies for “the final struggle.” She reminds Antoine a true believer can transcend suffering and sacrifice to gain freedom and eternal life. To prove her point, with Angelica’s help, she holds his arm over a naked flame before sending them home.

The first Privy Council meeting without Catherine occurs in a panic over Elizabeth’s arrival. The Bourbons pathetically suggest she’s on holiday, as Montmorency claims Edith is open to not joining the English, and King Charles is his usual waffling self. Meanwhile, Charles de Guise told Anjou his loyalty to the Catholic faith is challenged as he becomes obsessed with Edith. Anjou tells Francois, who is appalled, reminding Charles they have bigger problems: an English invasion and their mother.

Alessandro and Catherine examine the palace plans as she worries about the impending war. He suggests a distraction – how about him marrying one of Catherine’s daughters? Catherine heads to see Elisabeth, reading to the unresponsive Philip. Catherine claims to fear an alliance between Spain and England, telling Elisabeth that if she were to marry, say, Philip, they could establish a robust Catholic empire with Elisabeth, one of the most powerful Queens in Europe. Catherine orders her to think about it, as Elisabeth recoils in horror.

(As distasteful as we may find it, uncle-niece marriages weren’t unusual.) 

Rahima summons the ladies of Catherine’s Flying Squadron, a team of elite seductress spies. Armed with clothes that fall off easily and flagons of wine spiked with Ruggieri’s concoction; they visit King Charles, both Bourbon Bros, Anjou, and Francois de Guise. As Francois opens the door, Margot is in the corridor nearby, stricken as the woman slips inside. Meanwhile, Catherine visits the Holy Roman Emperor, who comments there is fornication in the air, but she’s about six years too late. She ignores him, telling him of her solution: Elizabeth will marry Philip. No one will object because they won’t be at the wedding; they will all be asleep or dealing with fierce hangovers. 

The marriage (and the inevitable bedding) takes place, and the poor gay priest who conducted the ceremony stands in as “proxy bridegroom.” (Catherine stops it as soon as she can.) The Emperor takes off with his disabled son and daughter-in-law. Catherine may insist this is a brilliant marriage, but Elisabeth is moving across Europe bound for life to a mentally ill man with severe disabilities. While in the carriage, he touches her hand, and she looks terrified. They pass another fancy set of vehicles approaching the palace from the other direction. Hip, hip, hooray, it’s Elizabeth I and her entourage. She steps out of the carriage, looks around, and trills, “What a lovely home!”