Cecil May Finally Get His Comeuppance in 'Hotel Portofino's “Contortions”

Well, well, well, it seems like Cecil might finally (finally!) get his comeuppance in this week’s Hotel Portofino. 

Our not-so-favorite snake in the grass has gotten himself into quite a predicament. His Italian business partners from Detroit (a nice euphemism for the mafia) are tired of waiting for their illicit import/export liquor business to be expanded. But Cecil has a problem. Lord Ross Cannon, who owns the distillery, is busy with grouse hunting season (aren’t we all Lord Ross Cannon, aren’t we all) and won’t be available to even discuss an expansion of the business until September. Luigi, not surprisingly, doesn’t care one bit about grouse hunting season. “You find a way to expedite our business and get my employers what they want,” Luigi tells Cecil.

Meanwhile, Cecil and Danioni still need to find a way to launder the money. Danioni’s big plan is to deny Bella the permits she seeks to expand the hotel with a solarium and use that as leverage against her. “The only way my wife can build her wretched solarium is to hand over control of the hotel to me,” Cecil says of this “ingenious” plan. Cecil would rather get rid of Marco the architect right away, but Danioni tells him the ability to launder money is the bigger problem. Danioni tries to convince Cecil they can make something approximating scotch from leftover grapes, but Cecil spits it out, declaring it “absolute filth.”

Danioni promises Luigi that Claudine will perform at his casino. Cecil tries to sweet-talk Bella into the idea, but Bella knows he’s up to something. However, Claudine is currently in breach of her movie contract. So, if she can say she left her movie set because her agent double booked her for another performance, that may be her way out. “Do you trust him,” Claudine asks Bella about Cecil. “Oh no, not for a minute. He and Danioni are definitely on maneuvers, but then again, so am I,” Bella says mysteriously. 

Rose, in all her wane awkwardness, has arrived at the hotel. Lucian is still making googly eyes at Constance and is more committed than ever that his marriage is a farce. When he takes off fishing with Jonathan, Rose asks Constance if she can teach her how to swim. It seems like the two may be forming some sort of friendly relationship despite Constance’s obvious guilt. But in the closing moments of the episode, a distraught Rose, who knows her husband is doing everything possible to avoid her, finds the post-coital sketch Constance did of Lucian. (The 1920s version of finding a compromising photo on your spouse’s phone.)

Rose is not the only romantic partner to make a return. Gianluca also comes back looking for Nish, telling Lucian he has a way to get Nish out of Italy and to a safe location. “I am his only chance of getting out of this,” he tells Lucian. “That’s up to Nish to decide if he wants anything more to do with the likes of you,” Lucian retorts. There’s no love lost between those two.  

Nish is now hiding under an old abandoned boat which seems even less sanitary than the abandoned house he was in last episode. Also, Nish is a doctor, so he knows too much. He particularly knows he is in bad shape. His gaping leg wound is starting to blacken around the edges, and he’s in and out of fever. “It doesn’t look good,” he tells Lucian.

I’ve been waiting for Count Albani to have a storyline, and it looks like Alice’s totally sketchy fiancé Victor might supply it. Bella is concerned that perhaps Alice is moving too fast because she just met Victor one week ago (Does she think she’s on The Bachelorette?) But Alice tells her mother that she’s been on her own for five years and she’s “sick of it." Besides, Victor comes from a very wealthy family (I think Victor doth protest too much).

Yes, those are alarms you hear going off, but apparently, only Count Albani is the one listening for them. “Do you gamble often, Victor?” he asks Victor. My guess is that our friend Victor has some serious gambling debts. When Bella asks Count Albani what he thinks of Victor, he’s very diplomatic. “I think it’s only fair to savor a new flavor for a little while before pronouncing if it is palatable,” he tells Bella. 

Through a series of unfortunate events and reservation confusion, Cecil moves back into a room with Bella, something he is very happy to make sure Marco the architect knows about. Things are getting dramatic between Bella and her smoldering architect Marco who finally kisses Bella (without her consent, I might add). “I can make you feel something,” he says to Bella. “Not now,” she tells him. Bella is juggling quite a lot as Cecil also overhears her on her phone call with Henry.

With only two episodes left to go, there’s lots to be resolved before the show checks out on season two.