The New Vicar Finally Arrives in 'Grantchester' Season 9

Grantchester has a thing about vicars and their vehicles. Sidney had the bicycle, Will had the motorbike, and now here comes our newest Rev Alphy Kotteram (Rishi Nair) rolling up to the front door in a little red roadster. It doesn't make any of what transpires next any less uncomfortable, nor should it, though out of the three meet-cutes Geordie's been through with his vicars, the well-placed right hook Alphy's got on him may be the most efficient so far. 

Microaggressions play for uncomfortable comedy (hell, there ain't nothing micro about half these aggressions anyhow) are how British TV has been dealing with race for decades; if anything, it's simply putting our characters through the cliched paces. (Though "Leonard of the House of Finch" was pretty perfect. First of his name!) 

Naturally, everyone in Grantchester assumes Geordie will be right as rain now he's got a new vicar to befriend, even if Mrs. C will only speak of him in overly loud stage whispers, even Esme (bless Skye Lucia Degruttola, all grown up) is needling her dad for being all sulky at the pub, forced to hang out with Larry or listen to Leonard recite poetry. Geordie's not too sure, but it looks like Alphy will be calling on the cops sooner rather than later, as biblical hate mail is starting to mix in among the stuff that's addressed to the previous resident. But until then, we can at least watch Alphy strip to his knickers for a swim.

The mysteries are never the point, but I will say Grantchester pulling the PBS moral equivalent of Game of Thrones' patented sexposition by taking our new, extremely handsome vicar down to his unmentionables and then having the Plot of the Week show up and and recite the facts of the case, was a little bit over the top. Rachel Baron (Sophie Jones), daughter of the deceased Albert Baron, who has owned these lands since Henry VIII (yes, that's important!), doesn't seem all that regretful that her father is dead, supposedly of suicide. She's almost as regretful as the rest of us when it's time for Alphy to put his clothes back on so we can get on with the funeral.

Her brother Harvey (Ned Porteous) is introduced by assuming Alphy is neither British-born nor Christian-raised. Rather unsurprisingly, they're the only ones at the funeral until distant relative/neighbor Lionel Walker (Jay Villiers) and his son Jamie (Daniel Fraser) arrive. Harvey greets them with a right hook to Lionel's face and an accusation of murder.

Alphy does what any vicar would in this situation, taking all four back to the vicarage, putting the two camps in separate rooms, and phoning the police. However, when Geordie arrives, bless Alphy's normie little heart, he clears the heck out to the pub for a pint to let the professional get on with it. Geordie looks like you could have knocked him over with a feather, and that's before learning that starting this case — a land dispute over the ten acres, which includes Alphy's newfound swimming hole — at the beginning requires going back to 1545.

Grantchester does seem to be poking just a little bit of fun at itself with Alphy's bar scene, where everyone else in the room is white, male, and old, as the barkeep declares the place runs on "Grantchester Time," where the clock is an hour slower than the rest of the world. However, he doesn't beat a retreat or immediately attach himself to Geordie when he arrives, despite the Inspector being the only one to talk to him like a person. Like anyone who isn't white, his distrust of cops runs deep and wide, and Geordie, realizing that just a moment too late after having been stupid enough to ask, at least respects it. However, Geordie's been dependent on vicars too long at this point, their ready access to dead bodies already sent for burial, and their convenient ability to sign as witnesses, so he badgers Alphy into following him to re-examine this one. 

Go figure, Peters was the investigating officer on the case (Larry is and always will be Geordie's whipping boy); however, it's nice to see him get one back when Alphy looks befuddled at being invited to the lab to see what's on the slab and Peters grins hoping Geordie will be forced to explain his invitation, or why he keeps circling back to tell Alphy every time he puts another clue together. Sadly, his win is short-lived because Miss Scott takes one look at the new vicar sans wedding ring and is already asking him to call her Jennifer. Now, there's a relationship I'm here for.

Outwardly, Geordie seems to be running into a brick wall. Still, Alphy's curiosity is piqued, especially when he starts looking through the date book to see what Will's got lined up for him. He discovers pre-marital counseling for Rachel Baron and Jamie Walker. The two seem surprised this is news to him, and Harvey clearly is less than thrilled, but it gets even more confusing when Alphy spots the two men having a private discussion out of earshot as he starts to exit and then is utterly blindsided when Jennifer kisses him while seeing him out.

Thankfully, the show gets back to solving how to fit Alphy in with the rest of our Grantchester family with a visit from Leonard of House Finch, First of His Name, who has brought Dickens (and dinner) to make up for "The Swarthy Incident." Over the meal, Leonard comes out to Alphy, which our new vicar takes in stride. Leonard also tells him that Geordie is one of the few in town who has been supportive and that Mrs C "just takes some nudging." (Ok, a lot of nudging.) Alphy also asks him about the Walkers and the Barons, where Leonard drops the juiciest tidbit: Jamie was understood by those in the know as not playing for the marrying team. 

Alphy takes that tidbit, Rachel's details about Jamie leaving love notes in the oak tree between their properties, and heads out to walk Dickens to the tree, where, lo and behold, there is a love note from Jamie for a Baron sibling, though not the one he's engaged to marry. Both families call Geordie to arrest him for trespassing, but Geordie is just pleased to have a reason to meet up with a vicar with clues to share. Once the lavender marriage aspects of all this come out, it's not hard to piece together the why; it's just a matter of which one is guilty. The answer turns out to be twofold: Lionel shot Albert by accident when Albert tried to tell him Jamie was gay, but it was Rachel who let Lionel panic and run, thinking she would call for help. Instead, she sat and let her father die next to her, rather than let him out her brother and fiance and stop a marriage that would end this 400+ year feud.

This is not the first time Grantchester has had a case where seeing the murderer brought to "justice" feels like nothing of the sort. Rachel's decision was perhaps selfish in that it would bury the scandal. Still, it was also a sacrifice that would come with a life sentence: a loveless marriage to a man who does not desire her, consigned to bear his children for the good of ten acres of land. However, perhaps the fact that neither Alphy nor Geordie recognizes this proves they belong together. (Also, Alphy's "you cannot lie to God speech" was a doozy.) But you know, if this is what it takes to watch Alphy make a church full of white people squirm by forcing them to shake his hand and say hello, I'll take it.