Two Vicars, Two Strippers & a Murder Walk Into 'Grantchester' Season 10...

Coco Chanel was a Nazi collaborator, but the fashion icon knew what she was on about when she (apocrophally) said “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” It’s a rule of thumb that many shows should follow more as well: Before sending it out, look in the script and remove one excess subplot. Grantchester could have used that this week in an episode that is admittedly as hilarious as it is convoluted. 

Within the first fifteen minutes, viewers are bombarded in rapid succession with confirmation that last week’s moment with David Keating in a dress was not a one-off. It’s not yet clear which color of the LGBTQ+ rainbow he falls under, but at least his mother doesn’t mind his impressions of the lady comedians on TV. Meanwhile, Alphy can’t cook (at least not with Mrs. C underfoot “helping”) and Leonard is developing a drinking problem; all this is topped off by the return of Rev. David Lane (Jonathan Rhodes), aka Vicar Terrible David.

Terrible David brings this week’s murder along with him. Since he’s not running Grantchester’s parish, he’s been drowning his sorrows in “ministering to the carnal artists” of the village, which was probably going exactly as one would expect when the Madame of the establishment keeled over, with a stab wound to the back of the neck. Vicar Terrible David tried to run to the church for “sanctuary” with his “nieces,” Kitty and Joan. However, Alphy locks doors to buildings he’s not in, so all three end up at the vicarage, interrupting Alphy and Meg’s date and bringing Mrs. C downstairs, followed by Leonard’s arrival after another fight with Daniel, and finally Geordie, with the strip club’s handyman, Stanley, in tow.

Because Grantchester was never one for subtlety, Leonard's drinking problem becomes over the top before the half-hour mark, partly due to Geordie privately asking him "when he knew" and if he ever wore dresses, and then how his parents reacted. Once he's good and smashed, he and his new besties Kitty and Joan (and Terrible David) attempt a recreation of the crime in the sitting room. (Al Weaver's impression of Garry Cooper's Stanley is genuinely funny, but not as much as Mrs. C getting far too into Joan performing her Dance of the Five Veils with tea towels. (She cut it down from seven, as men tend to get bored easily.)

Vicar Terrible David has been going on about King Herod since his arrival (when he wasn't drunkenly trying to steal Alphy's car), a reference that's finally explained as the bible story of Herod becoming so aroused by Salome that he committed murder. 

(This is New Testament stuff that Lacy would probably be all over, but since we swapped recappers along with the show swapping vicars, you'll just have to join me and Geordie in preferring our testaments old and our Torahs Jewish.)

The recreation does actually help. Not because the girls do anything useful, but because Alphy can't take his eyes off Meg (who is playing Madam the Victim), and realizes that the spot on her neck where she was stabbed is only visible after Meg slumps over. Since there were no tears through her clothing, the murder happened after Madam passed out, and everyone assumed she was dead and started running for the doors. Also, the weapon was not an icicle or a pen — it was one of Joan's stilettos, which she kicked off during the performance.

Joan instantly confesses upon getting to the station. She tells Geordie that when she ran to grab her clothes, she also went back for the cashbox, only for Madam to wake up at the sound of money moving, so she stabbed her with her shoe. While "she nabbed the cash" seems real enough, as does her cutting remark to Terrible David that Kitty can't stand him, there's no way a confession at (checks timestamp) 33 minutes is the actual murderer.

Luckily, that's when the toxicology report arrives, and in fact, the stab wound was just a superficial red herring. Her drink was laced with laudanum, enough to kill her. Laudanum was Madam's secret weapon — all those "drunks" people complained about in her doorways were her "VIP" clients. That status conferral was a signal to Stanley to dose their drinks so she could rob them blind before tossing them on the street, where they were arrested for public intoxication. 

A slow, illiterate man, Stanley liked Terrible David, who treated him humanely and helped him learn to read. When Madam ordered the Vicar to receive VIP treatment, Stanley finally snapped and dosed her drink instead, ten times the normal amount. As he admits to killing her, he begs Geordie and Alphy to leave the girls out of it. They deserve a better life, and he hopes he's helped them on the first step towards it.

With all the night's adventures over, Alphy heads back to the vicarage, where Meg is still in residence, proving herself the anti-Bonnie. She's showing all the hallmarks of the perfect vicar's wife, including cleaning up the kitchen after the insanity of the evening. Perhaps dating a Bishop's daughter is a smarter move than the show let on, as Meg's natural affinity towards the position augments the fact that she's also the perfect partner for Alphy, understanding his need to help with the case, looking after drunken Leonard, listening to his cheese poems, approving of threatening "Reverend Lane" with face punches, and just generally fitting in with the Grantchester crew as if she's always been a part of it. 

This is definitely the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Even if Alphy isn't sure how he's going to top a first date that involved re-enacting murders with strippers. At least if they go to the movies, it lessens the chances of everyone descending on them with a murder.

Grantchester Season 10 continues with new episodes every Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on most PBS stations, the PBS app, and the PBS Masterpiece channel, and will air and stream weekly through the end of July. All eight episodes are available to binge on PBS Passport starting on premiere day. As always, check your local streaming service/listings. Seasons 1 through 9 are also available to stream on PBS Passport.