Downton Discussion

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Cora and Rosamund track Edith to London, where she’s fled with Marigold and convince her not only to return to Downton with the child, but that lying about the Drewes ability to take care of the child is enough cover for her to just adopt her. Sure, okay. Isobel gets engaged to Lord Merton, but his hellspawn sons ruin the dinner party the Crawleys throw in their honor. Daisy mopes about the state of progressivism in the world. Rose and Atticus are so adorable they are basically made of kittens and puppies and also they get engaged. Isis is diagnosed with cancer because this show hates me so much. There’s more stuff, but just see last week’s recap.)

It’s the penultimate episode of the season and there is a lot going on. Let’s dish.

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Edith’s boyfriend Michael Gregson is officially declared dead and everyone ignores the fact that the timeline of this show has become so wonky that he has both only been dead a year and also somehow has a two-year old daughter. Whatever! Anyway, Edith mopes and ends up basically doing a snatch and grab of her illegitimate child and fleeing to London. Bates, who super sucks, accuses Anna of trying to keep herself from getting pregnant, but it all works out in the end because he confesses that even though he totes wanted to kill Green and plotted out how he’d do it, he couldn’t go through with it in the end. Anna’s relieved. Baxter forces Thomas to see Dr. Clarkson, who tells him to stop his weird conversion therapy treatment. Mary gets a new hairdo and there’s a horse race. Yeah, kind of a lot happens. Just see last week’s recap.)

Alrighty, now that we’re all caught up – time for Episode 7. Let’s do this, folks!

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Rosamund comes to visit and realizes Edith’s hidden her illegitimate daughter away at the farm down the hill; they both then realize the farmer’s wife completely hates Edith. Anna suddenly, and for no reason, seems to be the cops’ key suspect in the Green murder now, because they are terrible at their jobs. Mercifully, Tom dumps Sarah Bunting and she leaves town. Simon Bricker visits Downton (again) and gets into a fistfight with Robert when he discovers Bricker in Cora’s bedroom. Awkward. Charles Blake tries to convince Mabel Lane Fox to get back together with Tony Gillingham now that Mary’s broken up with him, because this storyline is just that embarrassing. For more, see last week’s recap.)

Time for Episode 6! (Does anyone else feel like this season is going by both lightning fast and slow as molasses? Just me? It’s so strange.)

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Rose’s parents are getting a divorce, which is sad and all but it means that (awesome) Shrimpie is back! Yes! Violet decides to help her ex-flirtation/possible affair Prince Igor (literally, his actual name) find his wife and enlists Shrimpie’s assistance. Mary goes to London to buy dresses and dump Gillingham; Anna spends her trip time casing the area where her rapist died. Lord Merton proposes to Isobel, Gillingham refuses to accept his new “totally dumped” status and Tom brings Sarah Bunting to dinner, wherein a massive and super awkward shouting match ensues. For more, see last week’s recap.)

All right, Episode 5, let’s do this!

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Mary’s “romantic getaway” is an epic failure, because all of a sudden she’s not nearly as into Lord Gillingham as she used to be. Baxter gets to keep her job, Thomas is scheming about something (we don’t know what, but do we really care?), the cops ask more questions about Bates and Mr. Green, several more people find out that Mary’s “sketching trip” was really not about drawing at all, and it turns out that the Dowager Countess had a sort of secret flirtation or something with one of Rose’s Russian Refugees back in the day when she visited Russia. Oh, and that guy is an actual prince. Because the Dowager’s life motto is basically go big or go home. There’s a lot more, so hit up last weeks’ recap if you need a refresher.)

This is technically the halfway point of the season, y’all. (Well, if we don’t count the Christmas episode, which will get tacked on to the end of this run here in the US. You get my point though. It’s all going so fast! How??!) Let’s dish this week, shall we?

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Anna has to go shopping for Mary’s secret weekend getaway with Tony Gillingham. Related: Mary is the worst employer ever. Carson and Robert argue over the best spot for the village war memorial; Baxter tells Molesley the truth; Rose becomes obsessed with getting a wireless; Tom struggles with his internal identity for the 50th time and guest star Richard E. Grant arrives. For more, see last week’s recap.)

Allrighty, guys. Let’s do this.

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Kind of a lot happened, actually. It’s 1924 now and the status quo from Season 4 continues. Mary’s still waffling between her equally dull and/or stalkery suitors and has decided that she’s going to sleep with Lord Gillingham to find out if she really likes him. Edith’s still mooning about over her hidden illegitimate child, which is now not so hidden – and also, walking around – down at the neighbor farmer’s house. Thomas is still blackmailing Baxter, who confesses to Cora she once stole a bunch of jewelry from an employer. Jimmy’s creepy ex-employer visits Downton and he gets fired after he hooks up with her. (Yuck.) Carson is chosen by the villagers to spearhead a local war memorial and he basically blackmails them into including Lord Robert too. Oh, and Edith sets the house on fire. (I said there was a lot.) For more, read the Season 5 premiere recap.)

Allright, y’all. Let’s do this.

Previously, on Downton Abbey: There is too much. Just go investigate the Series 4 recaps for a bit if you need a refresher on last season.

It’s finally here! Downton Abbey Series 5 is finally here! I’m entirely too excited about getting back to these recaps, so let’s just jump right in, shall we? There’s a lot to discuss (surprise surprise) and some of it’s awesome, some of it's awful and some of it’s kind of weird.

In short: We have a lot to talk about. Let's jump right in.

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Ivy gets a proposal from Alfred, because no one can ever leave this show, but she turns him down. Daisy makes her peace and says goodbye to him. We see Awesome Mr. Mason again for like five minutes. Baxter and Molesley are surprisingly adorable together. Violet figures out Edith’s pregnancy secret and offers to bankroll her trip to Switzerland to “learn French” and/or hide her illegitimate child. Bates takes a mysterious daytrip that is so obviously going to end badly. Anna tells Mary who really attacked her. Rose gets engaged to Jack Ross, but Mary convinces him to call it off, the local church bazaar happens, Robert comes home from America and Mary’s veritable army of boyfriends is still hanging around. Oh, and Green the Horrible Rapist appears to have mysteriously died. Whoops.

How have we already arrived at the Series 4 finale? Sheesh. Lots of ground to cover – and things to discuss – so let’s get on with it.

Previously, on Downton Abbey: Robert has to go to America to help Cora’s Plot Point Brother with some business no one cares about, Mary finds out what happened to Anna, Edith decides to have an abortion, but can’t go through with it at the last minute. Mary and Blake finally start liking each other after they spend a night saving pigs and getting covered with mud, the Dowager gets sick but luckily gets better fast, Tom met a girl at a political meeting. Super Stalker Lord Gillingham and his Horrible Rapist Valet return to Downton for a visit, and Bates looks like he’s totally figured out the Horrible Rapist bit. Oh, and there’s some more pointless drama with Alfred, Daisy and Ivy, but I’m just going to pretend it’s not happening because we all hate it.

What will happen this week? Who can even say. Onward and let’s find out.